Looking at me, you would think that my secret affair is not-so-secret (tipping the scales around 280 or so right now). However, those that know me have no clue about what happens behind closed doors.
Around others I eat like a fat person trying to lose weight...that is I try to make the right choices, say the right things, and only eat 1/2 or less of what is in front of me. I also blame my weight on a ridiculous belief that I cannot work out properly until I am trained on the machines for my safety (oh yeah, I went there). So to the people in my life, I am fat because I am just lazy...but I am trying! I am trying to eat right.
"I'm not a big chocolate fan." "I ate waaay too many strawberries last night." "Oh man, I should not have had that 6th bottle of water before driving a far distance!" "Can I have a salad with dressing on the side?" "Whew! I walked around my neighborhood forever last night, I'm beat!"
Oh yeah, I'm trying to change my life.
Until everyone leaves, my roommate is out, and I'm alone. Then out comes the other half of my dinner from the restaurant, the broiler popps on to heat a melted-cheese sandwich (yum), & the spoon dives into the ice cream/cookie dough/cake-pie-baked good or peanut butter...mmm peanut butter.
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As a daughter of a grossly obese father, and a fat-thin-fat momma, I know this all started at a young age. My parents tried to help me, instructing me not to eat such & such, or this & that...but I could have been a full-fledged spy at 7 if the only spy work I did was filching food.
And the pattern began. Eat a 'normal' amount in public...and nab bits & bites all day, culminating in a scary amount of food going into a growing (at an alarming rate) girl.
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My goal for this blog is to lay out my secret life. Because believe me, the world hears about it when I excercise, I do not need another audience for that (though you'll likely read it...I like to share). However, I need to tell someone the truth about it all.
And so, welcome to the ongoing tabloid exposing the sordid details of my no-longer secret affair with food.
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